‘With Love and Light’ is the salutation that both introduces and concludes my correspondence with associates, clients and the world at large. Love refers to my desire to communicate from my heart, free of ego, a voice of conscience and consciousness. Light speaks to a clarity of intention and understanding of our true nature – our ancient connection to the source of sentient life and to each other.
Love takes precedence. It is the purest of energies, the highest vibration that enables us to have empathy and compassion for people, teaching us to understand ourselves and others from a place of no judgment, gently revealing who we are at the core of our identity and opening ourselves up to intimacy in our relationships. There is a practical side to Love, as well, setting boundaries and recognizing self-love as a priority.
Light is equally powerful. It is healing and illuminating, leading us to love and helping us to see beyond the distractions of the day-to-day, and to perceive what is real and purposeful, tapping into our inner wisdom. Light recognizes how we respond to the world, see the world and choose our path in the world.
Typically we hide behind a protective shield, preventing others from fully seeing us. We are wary of exposing our feelings. We do not want others to see who we really are because we are afraid they may judge us harshly. Being vulnerable can be frightening, especially if we have a childhood history of being unappreciated. We withhold, omitting what we think speaks poorly of us, attempting to present a persona that will make others like us better. But that is a misconception; painting over the blemishes does not help a relationship; it is certain to have the opposite effect.
To develop a relationship with someone who feels safe, the task is to let go of protective devices and take the risk of being vulnerable. Shine light to disclose your true self, without omitting the colorations. Introduce yourself with directness and honesty, in a way that reflects self-love and personal responsibility.
To think we can control others’ opinions of us, their feelings about us, is folly. For true intimacy and closeness to exist we need to disclose who we are, at the core. Only after we look at our vulnerabilities with true compassion and learn to accept and love the unembroidered person that emerges, can we say to others without reservation, this is me, warts and all.
I do not deny there is a gamble. A thousand love songs speak to the heart that has been broken. But the rewards far outweigh the risk. With vulnerability, you begin to attract people to you who are inspired by your openness, and you experience true connection and the richness of true love.
Not to say you blurt out every unpleasant incident in your life at the first exchange of pleasantries. Little by little we learn to take the risk of revealing ourselves, gauging integrity and sincerity, the relationship growing in intimacy as slowly we gain the confidence to disclose the real person within, to another. There is no hurry; pick safe people and when there is warmth and understanding, allow the bits and pieces we reveal about ourselves to accumulate over time.